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Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

I told you I was sick.

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