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Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
I told you I was sick.